Fitness just felt good when we were kids. Hey yeah, remember that? Boundless energy and we could run for sugar fueled miles without tiring. That was how it worked, right? We’re not just improving through the zippy little Segway that is nostalgia. Right? Nah, you and me? We were wild mustangs running free out on the plains. In my case the plains meant my parent’s driveway and running free meant maxing the shit out of my skip-it. But let’s not get tripped up in semantics. What in the ever loving tarnations happened to us?
Number #1
Stress.
Stress happened. That’s right, more responsibility comes with a big fat heart attack side of anxiety. Somewhere in between bill paying and meeting obligations we’ve completely forgotten to go outside and play. There’s no responsible adult type of person to whine at as we’re kicked out of the house until it gets dark. In fact, having a responsible adult type person to whine at is one of the many reasons I workout with a trainer. Just saying.
There are a lot of freaking expectations that come along with playing grown up. I mean, bills, seriously what is that shit? There is an inevitable point of no return in which we’re suddenly expected to no longer be searching for the answers to the magic of the universe and start providing them, like Zoltan, and look how active he is. We’ve got ideas, but let’s face it, we still don’t unequivocally know. It’s a lot of pressure, man. A lot of pressure. Ask most doctors how to deal with that horrific level of stress and they’ll tell you to go play outside.
Number #2
The dear sweet introduction of Booze and Take Away
Advertising has done a really really fantastic job. Marketing ninjas creep right into our hearts and minds and make a drink, or twenty, at the end of the day, seem really warm and fuzzy. They gloss right over any drunk text fallout and the liquid death insomnia dry mouth moment, when your face-hole tastes like that seventeen year old freezer full of petrified cantaloupe soup on that last episode of Hoarders. Food porn makes that sizzling hot 5,000 calorie meal seem like the only viable option to counteracting a day spent battling the flying monkeys with a weapon the size of a toothpick. It’s not. But it feels like it.
If you told your kid self that sitting down to a nice big cup of old juice would was supposed to be an event, an actual activity, the response would be somewhere between incredulity and outright distain. Meal time used to be a chore when we were younger. When did that change? Best guess? When we stopped setting time aside to be active and have fun. Let’s face it, meal/drinking time is mandantory. No food = no survival, thus it’s the most acceptable excuse not to be studying, working, paying bills, and stressing. We need to backtrack to that middle ground where we’re finding the good times and allowing ourselves to be human on more than one front.
Number #3
The vast availability of Unchallenging Distractions.
There are inumerable amounts of ways in which we can occupy ourselves while putting forth little to no effort. They don’t require a whole lot of engagement and it sure as heck doesn’t feel like it hurts. Only it doesn’t really feel good either. It’s just a thing. A thing that we do because we’re conscious. When we got kicked outside back in the day, activities required imagination and engagement to avoid face melting boredom. As kids no one told us we were supposed to think of ways to make it as horrible as possible. That doesn’t build character, it builds martyrs.
Anyone else ever heard the phrase “Until you puke, faint, or die, keep going”? It’s most often applied to health and fitness and it sounds like loads of fun, am I right? Of course not. It sounds like it sucks. I’m all for feeling like a badass, but describing workouts the way we’d describe, say, food poisoning hardly boosts the appeal. Living a more health and fitness friendly lifestyle is going to be a shock to the system at first. We all notice extreme changes, the same way that we notice that the ocean is freaking cold the first time you jump in it. It doesn’t mean we won’t get used to it and it doesn’t meant that there isn’t a good time to be had. How about say, doing things we love, which happens to be both cathartic and fun. As a kid moderation was a parental dispensation. Now it just helps us all to avoid going bat-freaking balls crazy. That’s a technical term.
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